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Pierre McGuire's Stupid Face Thinks Hockey Will Return on November 25th


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by Michael DeNicola

Wednesday, Sept. 26, 2012 -

Do your best to ignore the fact that you're about to watch a 3-minute, 29-second long video of hockey insider Pierre McGuire speak. During this lockout, each fan will have to numb him or herself to a handful of clowns throwing pies in our faces. But any news is good news at this point considering the League and Players' Association schedule labor meetings like rock bands sporadically schedule shows the night-of in some seedy, underground city dive bar.

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Pierre tells us that if he were a betting man, NHL hockey would return to our televisions sometime around November 25th. According to McGuire, he's had Players and Owners mention how much they want to get back to hockey here in North America, on the largest ice-covered stage in the world. Their self-acclaimed eagerness continues to be second-fiddled, however, due to the surrounding 1% of hockey-related revenue which is keeping a new collective bargaining agreement from being drafted.

But according to Pierre and many other hockey news outlets, the meeting scheduled for this Friday will mainly circle around the peripheral issues. It seems all anyone ever talks about is how that 3.3-Billion dollars in revenue is going to be split up, and other topics such as pensions, benefits, grievances and travel have been tucked away on the back-burner. That's not the case with Friday's agenda, according to TSN's Darren Dreger --

[The CBA meeting will be in NYC onFriday. Non-core economic matters include: pensions & benefits, grievance procedures, medical, travel etc.

Back to the video.

The Dancing Thumb McGuire touches on Edmonton possibly relocating to the city of Seattle. Normally I wouldn't take the time to address this in an article seeing as how I believe that to be preposterous. Even with their arena falling apart like Tara Reid's nipple, there's no chance The Oil pack their bags and head for the States.

Don't get me wrong, I'd adore a team in Seattle. I firmly believe hockey would prosper there for a storm of reasons. Relocating one of the failed sunbelt Clubs to the Rainy City would do this League some good.

But then Pierre mentions expansion and I'm immediately reminded why I hate the man. A mixture of expansion and the diluted minds of Owners is what's gotten us in this predicament with HRR and the Revenue Sharing Program. And Pierre believes a thirty-first addition thrown on the heap of this thinly-spread revenue nightmare could aid our hockey empire.

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It baffles me that you don't arrange for at least one of the failing teams to re locate to Seattle. Adding ANOTHER franchise just to get more "fees" is asinine and positively toxic to the League as a whole. So that being said, Seattle Seals, welcome to the NHL fold coming in with the next CBA....

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@flyerrod The Seattle Seals just rolls off the tongue easily. It's the perfect name for that team. I really could not ever figure out why the first California team chose the Seals. I realize it's a geographic thing and all, but Seals are not intimidating or scary in any respect. They are pretty powerful creatues and are fast, so maybe that was the logic behind it. Anyways, it does sound cool, I hope they pick that name should they ever get a team.

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Here, here! Seattle Seals does flow nicely. Get Soundgarden or Pearl Jam to play at the first home game. :)

Here, here! Seattle Seals does flow nicely. Get Soundgarden or Pearl Jam to play at the first home game. :)

Yeah, and when they suck we can say " they are flopping around like a bunch of seals on a dock".

As far as Pierre goes... I never saw a guy that I want to give an atomic wedgie to more than him followed up with a Mr.Clean toilet bowl swirly!

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Nice! Or " Seals get clubs out after elimination". Ok, maybe Seattle Seals lends itself to clubbing jokes for the other 29 teams (31 teams in my Fantacy Commisioner plan). How about The Seattle Savages. No, indian connotations... Maybe I should start a new thread... "Name that team Contest"

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