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Quotes from the Oilers locker room


yave1964

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  Last night at the end of two periods the Oilers were playing lights out and beating the playoff hopeful Calgary Flames 2-0. I fell asleep and woke to the final score of 4-2 Calgary, and in my deranged minds eye I see the conversation in the Oilers locker room.

 

SOUND OF ELATION AND CONFIDENCE EXUDING FROM THE PLAYERS INTERUPTED BY CRAIG MACTAVISH STORMING IN GLARING AROUND THE ROOM. HE STOMPS TOWARDS THE COACHES OFFICE.

 

MAC: Eakins!! Are you in there???!??

 

NELSON: No sir, it is Nelson. You fired Eakins.

 

MAC: What the hell is going on out there?

 

NELSON: The boys are playing hard, we have a two goal lead and....

 

MAC: Well what are you going to do about it? (Mactavish opens the office door and points at Eberle and motions for him to come in the office and slams the door after Eberle comes in)

 

MAC: Eberle, what are you doing out there?

 

EBERLE: I have a goal and an assist so far sir, I am playing my heart out.

 

MAC: Do you want you ice time cut?

 

EBERLE: (shaking his head sadly) No sir. I will try harder. Or less hard. You know what I mean. (Eberle leaves office, Mactavish looks out into the locker room)

 

MAC: Get me Viktor in here now! Fast!

 

Ben Scrivens stands up.

 

SCRIVENS: Do you mean Fasth? Vik is around somewhere but I am playing tonight not him.

 

MACl; Then YOU get in here Scrubbins! (sound of goalie shuffling into office)

 

MAC; You haven't given up a goal yet! How are we going to beat out Buffalo and Carolina if you keep playing like that?

 

SCRIVENS: The boys are playing hard in front of me and keeping the Flames from setting up in front of my net.

 

MAC: QUIT MAKING EXCUSES SCUBBINS!

 

SCRIVENS: Its Scrivens sir.

 

MAC: Like it matters. We traded for you to help us get McDavid, you better not screw this up for us or you better go buy a Russian to English dictionary for when you are playing in the KHL next year!  (scound of goalie exiting the office)

 

MAC: Now  Eakins...

 

NELSON: It is Nelson sir.

 

MAC: Don't interrupt Eakins. I want you to play Eager big minutes in the third.

 

NELSON: We released him. Last I knew he was with the Chicago Wolves in the AHL.

 

MAC: Can we get him back in time for the third period? (Nelson shakes his head no)

 

Mactavish storms back into locker room. All eyes are on him.

 

MAC: Waaa, which one of you is Waaa? Derek Roy shuffles uncomfortably in his seat.

 

ROY: I pronounce it Roy like boy not like Patrick pronounces his.

 

MAC: No wonder you suck, you cannot even say your name right. When Nashville was ready to dump you we traded for you to help us beat out your old team Buffalo, we figured you would want revenge on them, don't you have any heart boy? Or Roy? (Roy looks down at his skates and shakes his head.)

 

MAC: Klinkhamer, Fayne, Aulie, Hendricks, do you really think you are here for your skills and talents? We need to watch the standings, Carolina lost to the Rangers today, damn them, and Buffalo has lost 11 in a row. Come on boys, give it more effort!!

 

Mactavish leaves the locker room, the players look around in stunned disbelief. Nelson comes out of his office and looks at the players.

 

YAKUPOV: Coach Eakins?

 

NELSON: (sighs) Yes Nail?

 

YAKUPOV: My line starts?

 

NELSON: (sighs again) sure nail. That gives us the best chance.

 

OILERS GIVE UP 4 IN THIRD PERIOD. FINAL SCORE FLAMES 4 OILERS 2

 

THE END

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