Poulin20 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Since we are headed for another year without playoffs and the paper is starting to publish our "Tragic Number" I thought it would be fun to start a thread where we can write funny epitaphs for the Flyers and also the other teams as they miss the playoffs or are eliminated from the playoffs. (This thread would be in the spirit of the Shortest Books and We Welcome You threads...) I will start us off... Here lies the 2014-2015 Philadelphia Flyers: They dropped points in the shooutout and lost to bad teams,they looked lost on most nights due to Chief's lack of schemes or how about this one Here lies the 2014-2015 Philadelphia Flyers: They beat good teams at home but sucked on the roadVinny (and Umby) stole money while Chief coached like a chode (for brains) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radoran Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Here lies the 2014-2015 Philadelphia Flyers: Great. Things. No. Doubt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brelic Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Claude Giroux. $8.275M. 64 points. +/- Even. Streit, Pronger, Lecavalier, Umberger, MacDonald. $23.5M. 99 points (44 of those for Streit). -36. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post murraycraven Posted March 18, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 18, 2015 Craig Berube - what a messHe never seems to know who to dress When things get bad and go awryAll he can verbalize is how they try The Coach is the biggest loser of alleven though he only stands 4 feet tall Please please please make him go awayAlong w/ McDud, VLC and that bum RJ 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OccamsRazor Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Craig Berube - what a messHe never seems to know who to dress When things get bad and go awryAll he can verbalize is how they try The Coach is the biggest loser of alleven though he only stands 4 feet tall Please please please make him go awayAlong w/ McDud, VLC and that bum RJBravo. Well done. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samifan Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I'll pile on the coach:Craig Berube liked to go with his gut but when it came to coaching he didn't know his head from his butt! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Podein25 Posted March 18, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 18, 2015 Do they have to rhyme? I'm no good at rhyming. At first, I thought the Flyers had no luckBut it turns out they just suck 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bertmega Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 To Bill Brasky! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruxpin Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 I wanted to rhyme but did not have the time To look up a word that ends like pathetic. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poulin20 Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 Do they have to rhyme? I'm no good at rhyming. At first, I thought the Flyers had no luckBut it turns out they just suck Doesn't have to rhyme. As long as it is funny! You did just fine there! I am sure that our "friends" for the western part of PA will be chiming in at some point to creatively and possibly humorously help us put something on the headstone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poulin20 Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 I wanted to rhyme but did not have the time To look up a word that ends like pathetic. Here lies a team, supposedly young and athletic but with Chief at the helm they looked dumb and pathetic? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murraycraven Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 but with Chief at the helm they looked dumb and pathetic? no question mark needed Poulin! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ruxpin Posted March 18, 2015 Popular Post Share Posted March 18, 2015 We traded Hartnell last summerDue to issues with the capBut Umberger hurt his groinAfter playing like crap We tried to skate a defenseWith Brayden, Andy and LukeThe results were as expected;It made all of us puke Steve Mason found himself injuredJust after the New YearJeff Reese backed up his goalieAnd that's why he isn't here. The Flyers tried their very bestTo be a bottom-feederOf course they also failed at thatBecause Berube is their leader. He mixed and matched his forward linesHis defensive pairing tooBut the only thing worth noting wasAss grabs by Claude Giroux And so again we end in April With a middle-range draft pickSome may think it's progressBut it ####ing makes me sick. 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Poulin20 Posted March 18, 2015 Author Share Posted March 18, 2015 We traded Hartnell last summerDue to issues with the capBut Umberger hurt his groinAfter playing like crap We tried to skate a defenseWith Brayden, Andy and LukeThe results were as expected;It made all of us puke Steve Mason found himself injuredJust after the New YearJeff Reese backed up his goalieAnd that's why he isn't here. The Flyers tried their very bestTo be a bottom-feederOf course they also failed at thatBecause Berube is their leader. He mixed and matched his forward linesHis defensive pairing tooBut the only thing worth noting wasAss grabs by Claude Giroux And so again we end in April With a middle-range draft pickSome may think it's progressBut it ####ing makes me sick. LOLZ!!! Too funny Rux! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radoran Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 no more rhyming, now! I mean it!Anybody want a peanut? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samifan Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Bravo to all, these are classic! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AJgoal Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Not that I enjoy watching my team lose, but: This year's Flyers failed to win on most nights,But they put up too many points to even fail right. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ruxpin Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OccamsRazor Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 We traded Hartnell last summerDue to issues with the capBut Umberger hurt his groinAfter playing like crap We tried to skate a defenseWith Brayden, Andy and LukeThe results were as expected;It made all of us puke Steve Mason found himself injuredJust after the New YearJeff Reese backed up his goalieAnd that's why he isn't here. The Flyers tried their very bestTo be a bottom-feederOf course they also failed at thatBecause Berube is their leader. He mixed and matched his forward linesHis defensive pairing tooBut the only thing worth noting wasAss grabs by Claude Giroux And so again we end in April With a middle-range draft pickSome may think it's progressBut it ####ing makes me sick.Well done sir looks like you're a natural... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murraycraven Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 (edited) Hickory dickory dockBerube's "strategies" are a bunch of crock To offense, to defense, to our power playI just dont see why Hexy lets Berube stay Bench a player here and bench a player therejust dont bench RJ which really makes me swear O' Hexy , O' Hexy the fans are irateMcDud is as useless as cold Halibut on a plateSchenn is slow and his name is Lukesome people like to refer to him as the "fluke" Our time has come to at least get luckyA top draft pick like McDavid or Jack would be just duckyJust for once I would like to pauseAnd pray to god there is not another no trade clause (for an aging over 35 vet) Homer, o' Homer you are a dolt...You should have let Vinny stay as a Bolt (i know he was bought out) Play hard, compete and protect the puckI somehow feel Berube is as stupid F*&(KStrategy, Stratergery and absolutely no planMakes you realize why this season is in the can... Edited March 18, 2015 by murraycraven 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samifan Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 It started this Summer with our Captain's arrestWhile delusional Ed thought his team would be bestAnother slow start left us wonder the reason But in reality we knew it was another lost seasonWas it the overpaid vets or slow shitty DThe Flyers struggles caused Penguin fans to cheer with gleeFU to Homer, McCrossin and ChiefWhose coaching ability could be matched be a side of beef40 years without Stanley or a Cup to cheerThe season is over so raise one final beer Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samifan Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 Hickory dickory dockBerube's "strategies" are a bunch of crock To offense, to defense, to our power playI just dont see why Hexy lets Berube stay Bench a player here and bench a player therejust dont bench RJ which really makes me swear O' Hexy the fans are irateMcDud is as useless as cold Halibut on a plateSchenn is slow and his name is Lukesome people like to refer to him as the "fluke" Our time has come to get at least get luckyA top draft pick like McDavid or Jack would be just duckyJust once I would like to pauseAnd pray to god there is not another no trade clause (for an aging over 35 vet) Homer, o' Homer you are a dolt...You should have let Vinny stay as a Bolt (i know he was bought out) Play hard, compete and protect the puckI somehow feel Berube is as stupid F*&(KStrategy, Stratergery and absolutely no planMakes you realize why this season is in the can...OMG effin hysterical MC. Well done my good sir! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murraycraven Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 (edited) I like Halibut and I like BeefBerube's hockey tactics smell like bad queef! Edited March 18, 2015 by murraycraven Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murraycraven Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 OMG effin hysterical MC. Well done my good sir! With such bad inspiration I think this stuff just flows out! LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TropicalFruitGirl26 Posted March 18, 2015 Share Posted March 18, 2015 (edited) Well, since Flyer fans are pretty sure at this point the team is done, I can throw this in: Here lie the 2014-15 Philadelphia Flyers.When alive, proved beyond a shadow of a doubt, that square pegs, indeed, do NOT, fit into round holes....and only bad things can come of it. May you G.I.P. (golf in peace),Amen. Edited March 18, 2015 by TropicalFruitGirl26 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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