March "Mute This"

[AJgoal]

OK, this is brilliance:

 

 

[flyerrod]

Jack Edwards wins this hands down....he is even a landslide over Steigerwald who is the closest second.

[TropicalFruitGirl26]

Here is how I have my Conference Finals and Finals.

 

#2 Mike Milbury faces off against #14 Paul "Steggy" Steigerwald.

Try as he might with his inane and unabashed biased commentary, he was simply no match for Mike "The Shoe" Milbury who says things that not only outrages hockey fans, but NHL owners, AND parents of 12-14 yr old children....

 

Milbury takes this 4 games to 1 over Steggy, who at least, has some idiotic comedic value as he tries to pass himself off as a legitimate hockey play by play guy. Mike, meanwhile, has all the personality and likability of a rabid caterpillar.

 

Over in the other half, #1 ranked President's Trophy winner Pierre 'Regis' McGuire takes on #12 'Hollywood' Barry Melrose.

This is a close series as both are masters of the 'pucker lip' providing lip service to whomever is the highest profile team with the highest profile players in hockey.

 

Melrose, however, makes some tactical errors, as he underestimates McGuire, based on the fact that Melrose played in the NHL, and thus he thinks he is 'tougher'.

But the saavy and bald Pierre, knowing this competition is all about how putrid you are on the MICROPHONE, takes the lead late in the series over Hollywood, leaving Barry and his hair wondering just how a shiny headed, diminutive Crosby fan got the better of him.

 

Regis wins this 4 games to 3.

 

 

In the Finals, the series goes back n forth as both Regis and The Shoe trade subpar commentary, outdated opinions on how the game of hockey is played, and each also take turns looking about as unpresentable on camera as possible.

 

McGuire thinks he has the inside track just because he sits between the benches, and sings tales of Crosby, Malkin, and Penguins past.....but Mean Shoe Mike has the advantage of sitting in the studios, studying games (as best he can understand them), spouting off things that make no sense whatsoever on extended 15 minute between-period segments, and even studying his opponent Pierre McGuire.

 

All of Pierre's lip service to certain teams and players does little to deter Milbury, who, in the final 30 seconds of OT in Game 7, slaps Regis with a big ol, "Be a MAN for crying out loud!"...and this takes the series 4-3 in a thrilling fight for the Useless Journalism Cup.

A win for the ages!

 

The Shoe will be ready, willing, and most certainly horrid enough to defend his title next season...