hf101 Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 I saw this this morning and thought it was pretty funny, any one else have some suggestions? http://fivemole.com/2014/11/11/all-thirty-nhl-teams-as-alcoholic-beverages/ Anaheim Ducks: Bombay Sapphire, served in a plastic Disney souvenir cup.Gordon-jersey-The-Mighty-Ducks Arizona Coyotes: Gin & Juice, since no one has cared about them since the mid-nineties.Boston Bruins: Arrogant Bastard Ale. This one is self explanatory. Buffalo Sabres: Michelob Ultra. You know, technically it’s beer but really it’s not fooling anyone. Can’t compete with the real stuff. Calgary Flames: Flaming Moe, but only because I couldn’t resist a Simpsons reference. Carolina Hurricanes: PBR, because they both won an award that one time years ago. Chicago Blackhawks: JAGER BOMBS BROS! Colorado Avalanche: Stone Imperial Russian Stout. Like the Avs, this beer requires a few years in the cellar before it tastes best. Columbus Blue Jackets: Malibu Rum. No one actually hates it, but god there are so many better options… Dallas Stars: Fosters. Big in Texas, but imported from somewhere far better.Detroit Red Wings: Budweiser. Classically American, reliable, but nothing flashy. Edmonton Oilers: Absinthe. You go in with high expectations but in reality it’s just awful. Florida Panthers: Triple Sec, because you’ll typically go months without even remembering it exists. Los Angeles Kings: Tito’s Vodka. Trendy, highly-rated, but totally delivers. Minnesota Wild: Jack & Coke. You know, a totally middle-of-the-road kind of drink. Montreal Canadiens: Raw sewage and gin, because ugh **** Montreal. Nashville Predators: Miller Lite; boring and inoffensive but you’ll drink it if it’s on special or someone hands it to you. New Jersey Devils: Gin. Go away, no one likes you. New York Islanders: Box of hobo wine, drunk while ranting crazily about some made up time when they “used to be somebody”. New York Rangers: Like a cosmopolitan, consumed mostly by douchebags in suits that cost more than your monthly rent. Ottawa Senators: Cherry whiskey, which is weak, pointless, Canadian, and easily the worst choice you can make. Philadelphia Flyers: Yards Brawler, because of course Yards Brawler. Pittsburgh Penguins: Toss-up here; either Schlitz because it went bankrupt and is gross, or Mike’s Hard Lemonade because it’s consumed by people who don’t like actual, quality liquor. San Jose Sharks: Like Tequila, the Sharks always start out really fun but end really, really badly. St. Louis Blues: Ciclon Rum. You probably haven’t heard of it unless you really pay attention, but this rum is underrated and REALLY good. Much like the Blues. Tampa Bay Lightning: Bacardi. You drink it, you like it, but whatever who cares. Toronto Maple Leafs: Jagermeister. Drinking it for too long leaves you full of regrets. Vancouver Canucks: Bud Light. Both boring AND terrible. Washington Capitals: White Russian! Winnipeg Jets: Rolling Rock. Because literally any choice is a better one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyercanuck Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 @hf101 Some pretty good stuff there....don't get the Montreal one. And for the Flyers...you can always tell people who haven't watched the Flyers in forever...they'll bring up our bad goaltending and how tough we are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hf101 Posted November 12, 2014 Author Share Posted November 12, 2014 @flyercanuckI'll assume the author isn't fond of that franchise. The obvious choice would be Molson Canadian, but I'll assume Habs fans would choose Molson Golden. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yave1964 Posted November 12, 2014 Share Posted November 12, 2014 Very funny stuff. I can see the case for Budweiser for the Wings but i would go with Stella Artois as that is my beer of choice and with all the imports we have it seems right...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ihabs1993 Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 Glad to see the Habs drink involves sewage... I don't drink so I'm not the best source for information on this.... but sewage? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanflyer Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 Glad to see the Habs drink involves sewage... I don't drink so I'm not the best source for information on this.... but sewage? What about the KeyStone Pitts? Or Rolling Rock Pens? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mojo1917 Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 this is weird and funny and those are two of my favorite things to read... thanks for posting @ihabs1993 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
murraycraven Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 Pittsburgh Penguins: Toss-up here; either Schlitz because it went bankrupt and is gross, or Mike’s Hard Lemonade because it’s consumed by people who don’t like actual, quality liquor. went bankrupt almost like the Pens! perfect match... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ihabs1993 Posted November 13, 2014 Share Posted November 13, 2014 this is weird and funny and those are two of my favorite things to read... thanks for posting @ihabs1993Haha not my post bruh bruh... @hf101 posted this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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