yave1964 Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Gazing into the crystal ball and guessing (mostly tongue in cheek) what will occur this offseason and next year..... Arizona does not deserve a team but will somehow figure out a way to keep the Coyotes. They will be renamed the Phoenix/Flagstaff/Mesa/Tuscon/Deadwood/Deadgulch/Glendale Coyotes. Nobody will notice. Lame free agent class. Mike Green will break the bank and his team, immediately after signing him will petition Bettman to allow them to use a remaining compliance buyout. The triplets will discover that they are, indeed triplets switched at birth, they will spend the summer hanging out and leaving taunting messages on the Sedin Twins answering machine. Mike Babcock will be seen riding in the backseat of a white Ford Bronco driven by former player Dan Cleary. Babs will be wanted in Ontario in connection of the murder of Full Kessel. Sidney Crosby will come out. Nobody will notice. A fan in Sunrise will call and ask what time the game is, the operator will ask what time he can get there. The Wings will make the playoffs for the 25th year in a row as a 8 seed only to lose in the first round by a combinded scored of 47 -2. Holland will declare it a good year. The Sharks will go up 3 games to nil over the hated Kings only to be swept from there by a combined score of 22 to negative three. Doug Wilson will have to change his name to Caitlin Jenner and go into hiding. The Hawks will be forced to trade Sharp, Crawford, and Seabrook to stay under the cap. They will win the division by 30 points. McDavid will make Hall a 50 goal man and part the water but he cannot play goal. They will miss the playoffs. Again. The Wild after already adding Pomminville and Vanek will sign free agents Derek Roy and Drew Stafford, trying to emulate the Sabre model. When failing to resign Devan Dubnyk they will trade for Ryan Miller. GM Chuck Fletcher will be forced to go into hiding and change his name to Doug Wilson. The Flyers will sign a large orange barrel away from a construction crew to a multi year, multi million dollar contract. "He has the advantage of already being orange so we do not have to get him a uniform, just paint a number on his back, plus he fits right in with our current defense." says Ron Hextall. The Canadiens tired of hearing fans carp on them for spending too much money on defense will trade Pacioretty for a number four d-man just to further annoy their fans. The New Jersey DEvils will sign former KHL Rejects the Kostitsyn brothers who will get into a huge fight. In a bar. In the preseason. With their teammates. And then return home, refusing to refund their signing bonus. Someone will win the East. Nobody will notice. The Kings will win it all because it is there turn. That is it, anyone else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fan4ever Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 @yave1964 Very good! Although the Flyers bit was a little tough to take Luckily I think we're beyond that but do still have to get rid of some of the orange barrels we already have...... Perhaps we can sell them back to the construction crew. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pilldoc Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 @yave1964 LOL ...funny stuff! Definiitely put a smile on my face this morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samifan Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 @yave1964Another classic sir, well done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TropicalFruitGirl26 Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Good stuff, @yave1964I particularly liked the triplets switched at birth...and the fact that one is American, the other is Czech, and the third is Russian, makes them being switched at birth THAT MUCH more impressive..... And now, my take on 'Predictions Sure to Go Wrong' ----Both Connor McDavid and Jacke Eichel come into the league with much fanfare....only to have the Calder Memorial trophy won by some guy who no one thought would be playing in the league next year---much less beat out those two. ----Gary Bettman, realizing it is just wrong to have teams lose talent they've developed due to a mostly arbitrary cap number, rethinks things and decides on keeping the cap, but raising it to a reasonable level, so that the spenders can spend and keep, but the smaller markets can still compete. ----Las Vegas will be announced officially as the next city to have an NHL franchise........and a week later, team owners, the coaching staff, the players and the training and medical staff (NONE of which are hired yet), will ALL be under investigation for gambling on hockey and generally, Pete Rosing things up in an attempt to make some big bucks because they know the fair weather fans won't be paying their bills for too long after the novelty wears off... ----The NHL will have SUCH success with new OT rules regarding 3 on 3 play, that they decide to take things to RIDICULOUS extremes and after 7 minutes of tie game, instead of going to the shoot out right away, they will have two minutes more of goalies taking the face off against one another, and seeing which guy can score into the other's empty net first for the win! Classic old school hockey at it's finest.... ----In addition to Vegas being announced, it will mean that one more city will need to get added in the West so ALL divisions have equal amounts of teams, and in their infinite wisdom, the Bettman administration will opt for Cheyenne, Wyoming as the second Western city, eschewing obvious better choices like Seattle or Kansas City because, and I quote, "those people in Cheyenne don't have much else to do, and they will SURELY flock to an NHL arena!" ----Both the Florida Panthers and Tampa Bay Lightning will be good at the same time, thus TRULY starting up a Floridian cross state rivalry. Of course, after all that is going well, and Panther arenas are finally filling up to watch young exciting teams iced by the Bolts n Cats, the team in Sunrise is announced as the next to be relocated to Quebec, Canada for the following year......where they are renamed the Nordiques-----only to have the the team re-sold to an investment banker in Pueblo, CO before the season even starts, and they move there....and win a Cup shortly after that for the Pueblen hockey diehards. ----Gary Bettman is cheered at the 2015 NHL entry draft........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yave1964 Posted June 16, 2015 Author Share Posted June 16, 2015 @TropicalFruitGirl26 Every single thing you wrote was believable but you lost one hundred percent of your credibility with Bettman getting cheered...... That was actually more unbelievable than the triplets..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TropicalFruitGirl26 Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 @TropicalFruitGirl26 Every single thing you wrote was believable but you lost one hundred percent of your credibility with Bettman getting cheered...... That was actually more unbelievable than the triplets..... Yea, yea, I know.....I figured I would throw more than just a pinch of sci-fi in there.... I supposed pointy eared logical aliens are more believable than thinking Bettman would get cheered, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FD19372 Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 My first prediction is Miller winning the Vezina. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yave1964 Posted June 17, 2015 Author Share Posted June 17, 2015 @FD19372If that happened a certain poster in here would order Halibut for everyone!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBLightning1993 Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 Why hasn't anyone mentioned the Leafs finishing the regular season with 130 points and sweeping their way through the playoffs? If that's not believable to anyone I'll settle for them becoming the next dynasty. More of a monopoly actually, I have them down to win it 9 out of the next 10 times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pilldoc Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 @TBLightning1993 I heard they already have the parade planned and mapped out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yave1964 Posted June 23, 2015 Author Share Posted June 23, 2015 @TBLightning1993 Welcome to the forum!! I understood that if the Bolts had won, because of the same color scheme on the sweaters, the Leafs were planning on showing the celebration across Eastern Canada and kind of fuzzing out the Lightning insignia and pretending that they had won. Anyway, welcome to the forum! Lots of really good posters in here including a pretty lively Lightning fan or two! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TBLightning1993 Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 @yave1964 Thank you, I'm glad to be here! That actually seems like something that could happen... I have a friend on my ship that I went out drinking with all dressed up, me in my Stamkos jersey and him in his [insert Leafs player name here] jersey, because his team failed to make the cut at the end of the regular season yet again. Needless to say I sipped, he chugged and most of my drinks that night were free. I see a Lightning fan a little ways up this page, it's nice to know I'm not alone! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radoran Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 I particularly liked the triplets switched at birth...and the fact that one is American, the other is Czech, and the third is Russian, makes them being switched at birth THAT MUCH more impressive.....It was done by the same people that pulled off that whole "born in Hawaii but really Kenya" thing.Donald Trump is on it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yave1964 Posted June 23, 2015 Author Share Posted June 23, 2015 @radoran LOL!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FD19372 Posted June 23, 2015 Share Posted June 23, 2015 It was done by the same people that pulled off that whole "born in Hawaii but really Kenya" thing.Donald Trump is on it. Prediction: Later this year, President Obama asks for Trump's birth certificate and "The Donald" gets deported to Winnipeg. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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