NOT ANOTHER PANIC THREAD--YEP, YOU GUESSED IT

[ruxpin]

Blow the whole damn thing up.   The Flyers have lost two games.   I could be wrong, but I think any cursory view of history shows that no team has ever made the playoffs, let alone win the Cup after having lost two games during the regular season.   We really should pray for either another lockout or a devastating structural fire at the WFC.    Barring that, a list of 10 easy-solution steps that should be taken to improve the Flyers:

 

1) Put Botulinum toxin in Ed Snider's caviar.

2) Put tons of sugar in Bob Clarke's coffee.

2) Pay Jody Shelley to release whatever pictures he must have had involving Paul Holmgren and a drunken Boy Scout weekend.

3) Fire Paul Holmgren due to controversy and federal indictment charges stemming from Jody Shelley's pictures.

4) Hire Ron Hextall or an outsider as general manager

5) Slash the tires of Peter Laviolette's Toyota Camry.    Publicly raise concerns for his speedy recovery but immediately hire his replacement and then claim "it's not our fault he smashed into that bus stop with 32 nuns waiting to go to help starving children."

6) Fire Terry Murray and publicly sign a promise that he will never again have anything to do with the Flyers' organization again.

7) Strip the captaincy from Giroux and give it to Lecavalier.  If we're going to overpay a hasbeen vet for his "veteran leadership," we might as well take advantage of that veteran leadership.

8) If after 4 games, Giroux is still smarting from his being demoted, trade him to St. Louis so he can win a Stanley Cup this spring.

9) Put marbles on the steps at Timo and Streit's houses and as exasperated as possible say "What are the chances of that happening to TWO of our players" at the press conference announcing putting them on IR.   Go use the new cap space to get some younger defensemen who are hungry and can move the puck.

10)  Take Hartnell on a tour of a manufacturing plant and make sure he gets way too close to a conveyor belt, "somehow" catching his ridiculous-ass hair on it causing significant and ugly injury.   Keep his IR-released salary cap room until we're actually in a competitive position and using it is of some actual benefit.

 

 

 

 

 

This post is dedicated to @OccamsRazor

 

 

[OccamsRazor]

I could be wrong, but I think any cursory view of history shows that no team has ever made the playoffs, let alone win the Cup after having lost two games during the regular season.

 

 

Especially the first two.....they need to get it together FAST they only have 80 more games to get this thing figured out!!!!!! Before you know the playoffs will be here and they are on pace to only score 82 goals this whole season, the worst part in they are on pace to not even win a single game!!!!!!

 

 

WHAT THE PHUCK SHOULD WE DO????????????????????????

Edited October 6, 2013 by OccamsRazor

[pilldoc]

Blow the whole damn thing up.   The Flyers have lost two games.   I could be wrong, but I think any cursory view of history shows that no team has ever made the playoffs, let alone win the Cup after having lost two games during the regular season.   We really should pray for either another lockout or a devastating structural fire at the WFC.    Barring that, a list of 10 easy-solution steps that should be taken to improve the Flyers:

 

1) Put Botulinum toxin in Ed Snider's caviar.

2) Put tons of sugar in Bob Clarke's coffee.

2) Pay Jody Shelley to release whatever pictures he must have had involving Paul Holmgren and a drunken Boy Scout weekend.

3) Fire Paul Holmgren due to controversy and federal indictment charges stemming from Jody Shelley's pictures.

4) Hire Ron Hextall or an outsider as general manager

5) Slash the tires of Peter Laviolette's Toyota Camry.    Publicly raise concerns for his speedy recovery but immediately hire his replacement and then claim "it's not our fault he smashed into that bus stop with 32 nuns waiting to go to help starving children."

6) Fire Terry Murray and publicly sign a promise that he will never again have anything to do with the Flyers' organization again.

7) Strip the captaincy from Giroux and give it to Lecavalier.  If we're going to overpay a hasbeen vet for his "veteran leadership," we might as well take advantage of that veteran leadership.

8) If after 4 games, Giroux is still smarting from his being demoted, trade him to St. Louis so he can win a Stanley Cup this spring.

9) Put marbles on the steps at Timo and Streit's houses and as exasperated as possible say "What are the chances of that happening to TWO of our players" at the press conference announcing putting them on IR.   Go use the new cap space to get some younger defensemen who are hungry and can move the puck.

10)  Take Hartnell on a tour of a manufacturing plant and make sure he gets way too close to a conveyor belt, "somehow" catching his ridiculous-ass hair on it causing significant and ugly injury.   Keep his IR-released salary cap room until we're actually in a competitive position and using it is of some actual benefit.

 

 

 

 

 

This post is dedicated to @OccamsRazor

LOL..... too funny!

"Put Botulinum toxin in Ed Snider's caviar." - I actually have this at the pharmacy ...need some?  Where shall I FedEx it to? 

[radoran]

Blow the whole damn thing up.   The Flyers have lost two games.   I could be wrong, but I think any cursory view of history shows that no team has ever made the playoffs, let alone win the Cup after having lost two games during the regular season.   We really should pray for either another lockout or a devastating structural fire at the WFC.    Barring that, a list of 10 easy-solution steps that should be taken to improve the Flyers:

 

Well, no team has gone 0-3 to start the season since the first lockout and won the Cup, but...

 

Laviolette's 05-06 'Canes were 1-2 to start the season.

 

Lavy Lavy he's our man, if he can't do it - no one can!

[EDI-Flyer]

@ruxpin

 

I do think you have forgotten one of the more basic actions needed... Announce on TSN and NBC that ALL players are available for trade, and indeed that we don't necessarily seek value in return (See Sharp, P and Bobrovsky, S)

[MaineFlyFan]

Yeah...because it's 2 losses everyone's woried about and NOT the way this team is playing in those losses....especially last night in montreal.....

 

Granted we only have one bad showing last night but in my opinon to play like that last night in game #2 after all the talk about "starting this season off right" all offseason....NOT, "We'll be playing good come March..."

 

To be showing signs of the same issues that plauged us last year....EVEN 2 GAMES IN.....is unacceptable in my opinion.

 

You gonna hop on the "doom and gloom" bandwagon if we loose tongiht to a team we've DOMINATED over the years or say "Ah....It's only three games." ??

[MaineFlyFan]

And Bill Meltzer seems to agree....

 

FLYERS OUTLOOK

"The Flyers are coming off a desultory 4-1 loss in Montreal on Saturday night. Last night's game suggested once again that the team is still plagued by the same major flaws that doomed them to missing the playoffs last season.

The Flyers struggle offensively and defensively against teams that play with discipline and attack with speed. At five-on-five, they spend far too much time in their own end of the ice. The puck support is often lacking, and the Flyers lose too many battles along the walls even against smaller players. Philadelphia also takes too many minor penalties, sometimes out of desperation to prevent scoring chances but just often are lazy infractions."

 

Two games in Dude.....I say keep the Panic threads coming. I haven't had a reason to feel "calm" about this ******* team since 2011!!!!

[hf101]

@MaineFlyFan

 

Meltzer is a member here!   

[ruxpin]

.I say keep the Panic threads coming. I haven't had a reason to feel "calm" about this ****** team since 2011!!!!

 

Out of curiosity, why were you "calm" about this team in 2011?   I realize they tied for the Atlantic Division title, but it was with smoke and mirrors and almost no hope of success in the playoffs.

 

I haven't really even LIKED this team since they lost to Tampa Bay in the semis in 2004.

[ruxpin]

@MaineFlyFan

 

Meltzer is a member here!   

 

Aren't ALL of the Philly sports writers?

[pilldoc]

Aren't ALL of the Philly sports writers?

As I said before...where do you think they get their material.

[murraycraven]

I thought rad was Frank S?

Honestly, I don't think there is panic. I say more like frustration bc it is more of the same from last year. Same issues once again... With the realignment the Flyers simply can't have a slow start and I think it is simple as that...

I had them missing the playoffs anyway so I am not panicking.

[hf101]

Aren't ALL of the Philly sports writers?

 

That is a good question, but there is only one that gets his material right.  

[pilldoc]

@murraycraven

 

Agree with you...I'm more frustrated than panicked right now.  Obviously there is plenty of time to change things around.  However, when the same problems which occurred last are showing up again and again and yet again..and are not being adressed properly then yes... I get frustrated.

 

If you have a tooth that is aching...you get it fixed and get a filling.  You don't wait until the tooth is unsalvageable and needs to be pulled....

 

Fix the problems now........

[canoli]

after 2 games there's no point to any of this. But if they're 0-3 after tonight I say get Rux's program into gear ASAP.

[pilldoc]

after 2 games there's no point to any of this. But if they're 0-3 after tonight I say get Rux's program into gear ASAP.

if that happens...let me know when you need the Bo Tox.....

[ruxpin]

after 2 games there's no point to any of this.

Ya think?

[radoran]

Ya think?

 

Laviolette's 05-06 team then when to 12-2-1