TropicalFruitGirl26 Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 My name is ParkSure, and I am a LONG time, all knowing, and statistical genius Edmonton Oiler fan. I predicted the Oilers would win a championship before the year 2010. After all, Dwayne Rolson was a plus goalie, and he was on a roll...until he got hurt, then those dam Hurricanes with their lousy minus players who had NO BUSINESS in the Finals beat us, and the team has gone down ever since. So...not my fault. Anyways... The holy trinity of Klefbom, Draisaitl, and Eberle. If anyone thinks I hated them, well, they are wrong, because I was just kidding. I have a sense of humor, ok? Yes, you have to dig deep for it, but it's there! I've always said that genius McClellan should play these guys more. In their last 7 games: Eberle-- 2 pts, Even +/-, with a PP assist Klefbom-- 3 G, 1A +1, also with a PP point Draisaitl--3G, 3 A, +1, 2PP points I know it looked like I was impatient with these players, but they aren't as bad as I was pretending they were (and I WAS pretending!) Sure, they may not be perfect, and they will still make mistakes, but anyone who thinks we should just trade these guys away for practically nothing can be classified, possibly, as a complete imbecile! I don't know anyone like that, and I am sure you don't either, but I am just sayin....if there WERE, well, yes. That. I never took into consideration that the return of other players such as Kris Russell, Matt Hendricks, and the debuting Drake Caggiula could help bolster this team...because, you know, I was VERY focused on pretending I didn't like my man Klefbom, my bud Draisaitl, and my fave of all time, Jordan 'The Stat Man' Eberle! I spoke to Coach McClellan and he and I had a good laugh because he KNEW I was just kidding when I called him an incompetent idiot. My jokes are just funny that way people...no really they are. Klef, Ebs, Drai. What a trio! These guys, with some more seasoning, could help push this team to the playoffs, and with guys like McDavid and Talbot doing their thing, my statistically superior brain says guys should ONLY be traded if we get fair value for them! That's right. Fair value. Because like I've always said, the +/- stat simply CANNOT be used alone to judge a player. Yes, I said that. Remember? Yes, I did. Trust me on that. Now, now, before anyone starts saying I have selective memory, yes, I know, Darnell Nurse. Well, he is still a minus player. -1 to be exact. Horri.....errr, not bad. He is after all, a young player being asked to play established player's minutes. Just like I was trying to explain to @JR Ewing . Seriously, JR, you can't expect Nurse to play like a Shea Weber in his first few years. Just doesn't normally happen. Cmon now. Get real. You know I tried to make you see this. But no matter. The Oil look like they are doing all the right things again. Could it be that they just lack a bit of depth that can be remedied over time? Well, there's an idea. Something my +/- computer just overlooked! I didn't include Nurse in my title thread because then I couldn't call it a holy trinity. 4 players aren't a trinity. Unless you add a minus, then you are back to three! See? My stats are still quite accurate. Like I've always said, the Oilers have a shot at the playoffs, even with Eberle on the team. I implore fans to not be hasty with this team. You all know that things take time and young players are going to make mistakes. It's something I've tried to preach over and over! But now, I have mistakenly taken my knowledge elsewhere, where it will drown amongst the voices of idiots. But I thought I would return to impart this final piece of Edmonton Oiler hope. Oh, HF.net...if ONLY I had pretended less.......things could have been so.......beautiful... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mojo1917 Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 holy **** TFG that was / is brilliant ! still laughing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yave1964 Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 Nailed it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JR Ewing Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 @TropicalFruitGirl26 Thank you so much for this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpikeDDS Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 Classic TFG! One of your best for sure, eh?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyercanuck Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 13 hours ago, TropicalFruitGirl26 said: My name is ParkSure, and I am a LONG time, all knowing, and statistical genius Edmonton Oiler fan. I predicted the Oilers would win a championship before the year 2010. After all, Dwayne Rolson was a plus goalie, and he was on a roll...until he got hurt, then those dam Hurricanes with their lousy minus players who had NO BUSINESS in the Finals beat us, and the team has gone down ever since. So...not my fault. Anyways... The holy trinity of Klefbom, Draisaitl, and Eberle. If anyone thinks I hated them, well, they are wrong, because I was just kidding. I have a sense of humor, ok? Yes, you have to dig deep for it, but it's there! I've always said that genius McClellan should play these guys more. In their last 7 games: Eberle-- 2 pts, Even +/-, with a PP assist Klefbom-- 3 G, 1A +1, also with a PP point Draisaitl--3G, 3 A, +1, 2PP points I know it looked like I was impatient with these players, but they aren't as bad as I was pretending they were (and I WAS pretending!) Sure, they may not be perfect, and they will still make mistakes, but anyone who thinks we should just trade these guys away for practically nothing can be classified, possibly, as a complete imbecile! I don't know anyone like that, and I am sure you don't either, but I am just sayin....if there WERE, well, yes. That. I never took into consideration that the return of other players such as Kris Russell, Matt Hendricks, and the debuting Drake Caggiula could help bolster this team...because, you know, I was VERY focused on pretending I didn't like my man Klefbom, my bud Draisaitl, and my fave of all time, Jordan 'The Stat Man' Eberle! I spoke to Coach McClellan and he and I had a good laugh because he KNEW I was just kidding when I called him an incompetent idiot. My jokes are just funny that way people...no really they are. Klef, Ebs, Drai. What a trio! These guys, with some more seasoning, could help push this team to the playoffs, and with guys like McDavid and Talbot doing their thing, my statistically superior brain says guys should ONLY be traded if we get fair value for them! That's right. Fair value. Because like I've always said, the +/- stat simply CANNOT be used alone to judge a player. Yes, I said that. Remember? Yes, I did. Trust me on that. Now, now, before anyone starts saying I have selective memory, yes, I know, Darnell Nurse. Well, he is still a minus player. -1 to be exact. Horri.....errr, not bad. He is after all, a young player being asked to play established player's minutes. Just like I was trying to explain to @JR Ewing . Seriously, JR, you can't expect Nurse to play like a Shea Weber in his first few years. Just doesn't normally happen. Cmon now. Get real. You know I tried to make you see this. But no matter. The Oil look like they are doing all the right things again. Could it be that they just lack a bit of depth that can be remedied over time? Well, there's an idea. Something my +/- computer just overlooked! I didn't include Nurse in my title thread because then I couldn't call it a holy trinity. 4 players aren't a trinity. Unless you add a minus, then you are back to three! See? My stats are still quite accurate. Like I've always said, the Oilers have a shot at the playoffs, even with Eberle on the team. I implore fans to not be hasty with this team. You all know that things take time and young players are going to make mistakes. It's something I've tried to preach over and over! But now, I have mistakenly taken my knowledge elsewhere, where it will drown amongst the voices of idiots. But I thought I would return to impart this final piece of Edmonton Oiler hope. Oh, HF.net...if ONLY I had pretended less.......things could have been so.......beautiful... Ok TFG, you've always fit in since you joined the board. But the smarmy sarcasm oozing from this post makes it official. You now have elite status and will be held in the same regard as rux, Pods, rad etc...whether you like it or not. You bastard! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Podein25 Posted November 23, 2016 Share Posted November 23, 2016 13 hours ago, TropicalFruitGirl26 said: 4 players aren't a trinity. Unless you add a minus, then you are back to three! One of the most brilliant lines ever posted here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TropicalFruitGirl26 Posted November 23, 2016 Author Share Posted November 23, 2016 1 hour ago, flyercanuck said: Ok TFG, you've always fit in since you joined the board. But the smarmy sarcasm oozing from this post makes it official. You now have elite status and will be held in the same regard as rux, Pods, rad etc...whether you like it or not. You bastard! Heh...ok, I consider myself honored by that elite company. I can now say I am 'right up there' with sheep men and double agent clones (one of which may or may not be a used car salesman). What's there not to like about that? I am officially family after 3 years! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WordsOfWisdom Posted December 7, 2016 Share Posted December 7, 2016 Did we lose Parture now? ie: A de-Parture? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TropicalFruitGirl26 Posted December 7, 2016 Author Share Posted December 7, 2016 8 hours ago, WordsOfWisdom said: Did we lose Parture now? ie: A de-Parture? Well, he made a big boo-hoo-haa-haa about us being so 'limiting'..... you know, wanting things like non repetitive threads and at least MILDLY amusing topics of conversation. Thus he was going to the great 'Mecca' of hockey talk....where everybody knows his name, always glad he came, people are all the same, but most importantly, he could rattle off inane thread after inane thread about unholy trinities, +/- demons, anti-hockey christs, and the latest Betty Crocker recipes on arsenic cakes. Have no fear, Words....he is in a far better place now. He served us here well with his knowledge (especially that killer Edmonton Oiler knowledge), and he was properly mourned by posters such as myself, @ruxpin , and especially, @JR Ewing (who looked up to him as a mentor....in fact, JR said when he grew old n senile, he wanted to be JUST like him!).....but he will be missed, but certainly not forgotten.... For let this thread stand as his epitaph, as a monument, if you will, to his deep understanding on how hockey, statistics, and theology all worked in unison...... and he will continue to doggedly pursue that +/- devil, Jordan Eberle, through the fiery pits of the afterlife known as hfboards............... Can I get an Amen, brothers and sisters? Yea, yea, I am the only consistently active 'sister' on here, I know...don't bother me with logic now, I am on a damned roll, k?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WordsOfWisdom Posted December 7, 2016 Share Posted December 7, 2016 2 hours ago, TropicalFruitGirl26 said: Well, he made a big boo-hoo-haa-haa about us being so 'limiting'..... you know, wanting things like non repetitive threads and at least MILDLY amusing topics of conversation. Oh. I never read any of that. I just noticed that he vanished. 2 hours ago, TropicalFruitGirl26 said: Thus he was going to the great 'Mecca' of hockey talk....where everybody knows his name, always glad he came, people are all the same, but most importantly, he could rattle off inane thread after inane thread about unholy trinities, +/- demons, anti-hockey christs, and the latest Betty Crocker recipes on arsenic cakes. Oh geez. That site is hockey forum hell. I bet that's where people learn that behaviour. On that forum, people create about 100 threads a day, 99% of which end up getting locked. Basically it conditions users to treat threads like posts. I can't believe how many users they have considering that a rational discussion on any topic there is impossible. 2 hours ago, TropicalFruitGirl26 said: Can I get an Amen, brothers and sisters? Well I'm glad that this forum hasn't degenerated into that abyss. Parture was one user, and you could see how many threads he created in one month. Imagine having 10,000 members that are just like that! You'd log in here the next day and never find your last post because it would be buried 50 pages deep. 2 hours ago, TropicalFruitGirl26 said: Yea, yea, I am the only consistently active 'sister' on here, I know...don't bother me with logic now, I am on a damned roll, k?? Indeed! Go girl! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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